On the subject of laughter however, you want to have people laughing with you, not at you! My biggest and best piece of advice when choosing a first dance song? Listen to the lyrics. All of the lyrics. If this seems like a no brainer to you, good, you are well on your way to a moment that will be memorable for all of the right reasons. If not, then listen up. I will give you some guidelines for song choice that should help you avoid any songs about infidelity, break ups or mass murder.
Listen extra carefully to the lyrics, especially if the song you are considering is sung by a moody pop artist, i.e. Dido, Zero 7, Coldplay or U2. "White Flag" is not a love song, unless your idea of love is crazy stalking. "With or Without You" has too many options, for both of you, and you want to avoid any references to porn and/or drugs. You can do this by paying special attention to the verse, that's usually where these references are inserted into pop music. Even if the chorus proclaims love and unending desire, you want to be sure these proclamations are directed towards a human being and not a motorcycle, turtle, or humpty-back camel. In fact, avoid any form of the word hump! You are probably on the safer side if you are looking at a country cross-over ballad or anything your parents might have had at their wedding.
OK, another important aspect of a first dance is that you are supposed to actually dance to it. Danceability is a big factor that should inform your decision. For this, there is a sliding scale, directly related to your ability to dance. If you have "Dancing With the Stars" style moves under your belt, or your fiance attended the Alvin Ailey School you are in the clear here. I'm guessing you can throw down to just about anything. For the rest of us however, try dancing to the song before you fall in love with it. Even the most confident person can be shaken by flying solo on a dance floor. At my wedding, people were just not getting the message to join in and my husband and I just kept cracking up. It doesn't matter if it's slow or fast as long as you are comfortable doing whatever dance it is.
So in the end, it's up to you. Be as creative as you want, and mindful of the pitfalls. It is always better if it is a song that means something to the two of you, but if you want some examples (based on experience) of what not to do I'll give you a few...
- White Wedding, Billy Idol - Yes this song references a wedding, not the kind you want to have.
- I'll Make Love to You, Boyz II Men - Making love is beautiful, but this song's almost porn! Maybe it's those sexy Boyz voices.
- Pretty much all Rolling Stones songs.
- She Will be Loved, Maroon 5 - You're gonna want to check out that verse...
- Kelly Clarkson, she's just angry.
- The Sweetest Thing, U2 - not so sweet really.
- Chasing Cars, Snow Patrol - Beautiful song, but if you can hear it without thinking of death you're a better man than me.
There are a lot of good choices that are off the beaten path, no one wants to be cookie cutter. Some of the first dance highlights of the last few years include...
- Crazy Love, Van Morrison - Classics never die!
- I Would Walk 500 Miles, The Proclaimers - This one is fun for everyone, and has a great message.
- She's Got a Way, Billy Joel - Again, a classic. More about the bride than the groom though.
- Like I Am, Rascal Flatts - A great and catchy country ballad that we don't come across too often.
- More Today Than Yesterday, Spiral Starecase - OK, my husband wouldn't want me to give this one up. It was ours. Retro good times for everyone!
You know another one that is no good... Rump Shaker!!
ReplyDeleteGreat Blog, Amy! This is just the kind of information that people getting married need but can't really find in the myriad of wedding books and magazines that are out there. Keep up the good work.
ReplyDeleteI am sending this to my sister. She needs all the help she can get!
ReplyDeleteMy brother and sister-in-law chose "When You Say Nothing at All" by Allison Krauss for their first dance. Then the band screwed it up by playing Etta James' "At Last" when my brother and I danced. Good song for the bride and groom, not so much for siblings.
ReplyDeleteI have done "When You Say Nothing at All" great first dance song! "At Last" for siblings was definitely a screw up... did your brother and sis-in-law choose a sibling song? Or did the band pick it for them? That's when you have to make sure you have hired people that you trust and that have a lot of experience..
ReplyDeleteMy brother and sister-in-law selected about two dozen songs they liked from the list provided by the band, who then had carte blanche to play whatever they had rehearsed or were in the mood to play. It was a good-sized band with a couple vocalists and they were very good. I wasn't feeling well that day and didn't want to dance at all. Since there was a videographer and several photographers on hand, I didn't want to make a scene or give my sister-in-law a reason to hate me for ruining "her" day, so we just went through with it and had a laugh. The wedding and reception were held in the same room. It was hot, humid and rainy, so everything had to be moved indoors at the last moment. They played from about 3 PM, as the 225 guests began to arrive, until after midnight; before and during the wedding, during the cocktail hour and dinner, and after everyone had finished eating. There were enough musicians that a few could take a break for dinner while the rest played. What everyone forgot to take into consideration was that the ceiling in that room was low, so the music was very loud and it was difficult to hear any conversation.
ReplyDeleteYeah, low ceilings are tough. We usually end up playing at a lower volume, or taking breaks between dance sets and playing an iPod or having maybe one musician stay up and play background music so people can talk and eat. That was a long wedding they had! 3 PM to midnight? I'll say this everyone involved had some serious stamina ;)
ReplyDeleteI think it had more to do with the open bar than with stamina. :D
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